(To the tune of the 12 Days of Christmas)

The first week of lockdown, they said on TV

That we’re all in this together, and it’s temporary

In the second week of lockdown, I faced calamity

Unable to buy toilet paper, which I needed desperately

In the third week of lockdown I was oh so busy

Playing ukulele and learning origami

In the fourth week of lockdown, I was introduced to Zoom reluctantly,

Commencing my relationship with that accursed technology

In the fifth week of lockdown I studied Danish obsessively

But I’ve lost focus and the Duolingo Owl misses me

In the sixth week of lockdown, I had a workplace injury

So they sent me a fancy chair, to placate me

In the seventh week of lockdown, I was spinning yarn constantly

To make sure I’d be useful, in the post-apocalyptic society

In the eighth week of lockdown, masks became obligatory

Making my ears achy and my glasses foggy

In the ninth week of lockdown, they enforced bedtime for the city

Fomenting crankiness and a stifling, eerie tranquillity

In the tenth week of lockdown, I jogged daily

Hurting my Achilles, somewhat predictably

In the eleventh week of lockdown, solitude stretched into eternity

as human interaction remained an illegality

In the twelfth week of lockdown, I wallowed in self-pity

Watching others States frolic at liberty.