Excuse me while I vent my spleen

About this cursed COVID-19

And indulge me as I reminisce

About my dearly departed domestic bliss

Don’t get me wrong, my human is an ok pet

Not pedigree, but the best I could get

But when I chose her from amongst the strays

I did not foresee this malaise

Full-time employment was part of her appeal

This constant sullen presence was not the deal

For she’s apparently no longer welcome a work

So she’s decided at home to lurk

I used to groom and sleep all day

But now there’s a human in my way

She drinks wine and talks to me

As if I would give her sympathy

She stops me from doing as I please

And refuses to share her yummy cheese

She steals my favourite spot

And talks on the phone a lot

She disturbs my slumber fleeting

To parade me at her team meeting

‘That’s a big cat,’ I hear them say

I swear, one day, I’ll make them pay

Humans can pass COVID to cats

So I don’t want her pestilent pats

She interrupts me when I’m snoozing

I’m sick of her whining and pathetic boozing

After spending iso together, all I can say

Is I should have chosen more carefully at the RSPCA.